Mary Panza in Suffern

I don’t have one big topic that I a focusing on for you. I have been a bit scattered since my return from Hawaii and I find that I am not missing it as much as I thought I would. I say this because I know I will be back there sooner rather than later. In the mean time this is what has been happening with me:

  • 3b and I celebrated three years together. This is huge for me. I need to say to all that know us this, WE ARE NEVER GETTING MARRIED!!!!! Stop asking. Not gonna happen. I love him with all my heart but the thought of living with anyone gives me stress and anxiety. He is the love of my life and the thought of living with him and my girl and my beast dog and his two cats is a recipe for disaster. I am a great girlfriend. I am a lousy wife. Lousy roommate. Ask anyone.
  • I am in my favorite time of year! That’s right, it is lent. I have given up bread and pasta and am trying hard to stick with it by eating ice cream. I know. I really don’t want to disappoint Jesus.
  • I find that I have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) about all poetry events and things related to poetry. I went to a reading last night and realize that I haven’t been to this one particular reading series since my girl was born. I have missed out on years of open mics and features. I rarely read out anymore and just started writing poetry again. I envy my friends that can go to everything. I did make a choice to put my daughter first. She is upstairs trying to break dance and I am down here wondering what is going on in a world in which I was so heavily involved.  I am always asking, How was it? And who was there? I would bring her to more things, but I feel that she needs to be her own person. She needs to find her own scene and not just be a regurgitation of me. In the meantime, I miss my scene.
  • If I have to hear any more of Adele, I may not be responsible for my actions. Adele, I get it already. Enough. Please move on and stop singing the same song over and over again and I promise I will never write another poem involving my vagina. This goes for Taylor Swift. Taylor, you must be one crazy bitch to be so pretty and not be able to keep a man. Get some help, eat a sandwich and please stop haunting the airwaves. You never heard Joan Jett complain about ANYTHING!!! Take the lesson.

I think that captures the crankiness I have been feeling. It is probably hormones or the fact I haven’t had pasta or bread in over a week. It could be the time of year or that I haven’t slept. Take your pick. I hope to be back to being myself soon.